Luke and Sophie are a young couple that came for counselling because they were no longer communicating, or able to be intimate with one another. Sophie had developed anorexia and bulimia as a young woman, and while she had treatment for this, she still lacked a lot of self-confidence. Luke didn’t really understand this and felt rejected by the fact that she never wanted to have sex with him, or be physical with him in any way. They were fighting and their relationship was under a lot of pressure.
They started couples counselling and were unable to talk, spending a lot of time fighting in the sessions. The counselling gradually got them to calm down and to start to respect each other again, and to ensure that they were actually listening to what one another was saying. As the weeks went by Luke began to understand that Sophie felt insecure about her body size and shape, especially since they had recently had a baby. He was able to gain insight in to why she found it hard to be intimate, and at the same time Sophie could see why Luke was feeling rejected. They were listening to one another again.
Gradually as a few months passed, they started to develop a form of intimacy. This involved making time for one another, dinners, baths, walks etc and then they gradually started to make time for cuddles and kisses, until such a stage that Sophie felt comfortable enough to have sex with Luke. The less pressure he put on her, the more at ease she felt , and the more she wanted to do this. By the time the counselling ended, they were in a much more positive place , and ready to move forward together. They no longer spoke about breaking up and they were no longer disrespectful to each other. All relationships require on-going work, but they were able to finally understand what this meant.
Please note that all name’s on this website have been changed to protect confidentiality.