People will often say the words you know what its like ‘when you hit the wall’. But what does that truly mean? And what does that really look like?
We all have a capacity level. We all have a certain amount of resilience. We are often all a lot stronger than we believe. And can we all can cope. But more often then not people cope with far more then they should ever have too.
Sometimes everything can feel like it’s way too much. There are moments when enough is truly enough. After all we are all human. We all have a limit. And when we are pushed beyond capacity – it can feel as though everything is tumbling down around us.
When you hit the wall.
What does it really look like to hit the wall? To get to the point where you simply cannot take any more?
It is fair to say that this will look different for every individual. For some they will not be able to sleep. Others will not be able to get up in the morning. Some people will find it hard to be around others. While some will want to distract themselves and keep busy. Many individuals will not pick up the phone. Others will not put it down. Some will eat more, some less. Some will drink to excess – others cannot think of anything worse then drinking when they are in a dark place.
The wall will look different for every individual person. Some people will outwardly display their distress with explosive outbursts – both verbally and physically. Anger may rise. Frustration may be very real. And perhaps they will let others know about these feelings in quite a volatile away.
For others, their reactions will be smaller and quieter. They may even go far more inward with their distress – but that does not lesson the pain. Perhaps their silence speaks volumes. Perhaps their quiet and often low mood shows the dark place they are in.
But thing is for sure – when we hit the wall – we can all hit it hard.
What happens to us when we ‘hit the wall’?
Physically our bodies might scream at us – illness, migraines, insomnia, aches, pains – you name it. Mentally we may feel like we cannot take any more. Perhaps anxiety rises or depression takes over. Sometimes both say hello in equal capacity, and it is so hard to put one foot in front of the other. Psychologically we can feel overwhelmed. We can feel tested to the absolute limit. And as a result, we can feel totally lost.
What then? How do we then start to move forward? How do we begin to feel more like ourselves again? If the storm is taking over – how do we get through until is passes?
Do people understand when we ‘hit the wall’?
We live in a society where we are encouraged to pull our sleeves up and get on with things. We are encouraged to keep going and to not hit the wall. Burn out is something we easily or openly talk about. Things like stress, depression and anxiety are not met with positive reactions. Culturally we are encouraged to keep going no matter what. But is that truly good for us? Is it ok to push ourselves when we are totally and utterly drained? If we are honest deep down, we all know it is not – yet still we push ourselves, even at our lowest.
How do you cope when ‘you hit the wall?’
Perhaps it is about giving our selves permission to simply be. Exactly how we are on any given day and in any given moment. If you are struggling. If you have hit the wall. Then you need to be kinder to yourself then ever. You may have days when you feel like you can go for that swim or that walk. But you may have days when you cannot even face getting out of bed in the morning. Listen to your body. Listen to yourself. Remind yourself that you matter. You are important.
It is ok to cancel any commitment. You do not have to beat yourself up about that. You need to focus on doing what is best for you right now. It is ok to take a day off work and to not feel guilty about it. Time off does not only have to be due to physical illness. What about the days where your mental health needs taking care of too?
You do not have to do anything. You do not have to do that cleaning right now. That admin right now. You do not have to see those family members or friends right now. You just need to focus on what you need. Maybe at times you do not even know what that really is. But try and tune in to yourself. You will find your answers. Maybe you can start by recognising what isn’t good for you?
The key to feeling better in yourself is pace. And the importance of that pace is that it is slow. You need to do things gradually – step by step. No pressure. No rush. The only way we start to get back on track is gradually. There is no other way really. Take it day by day. Sometimes hour by hour. And tune in to the things that make you feel truly calmer.
Perhaps you need to make space for things like reading, walking, pod casts, baths, down time or yoga /meditation. Or maybe you need to make space for things like a journal, studying, exercise or connecting with people. Take a moment to press pause and try to figure out what it is that you truly need right now. And if that’s talking to a therapist then please don’t hesitate to contact us. We are here to help. You can find all our details on our contact page Contact Us | Your Counselling Service and you can also check out our therapists on our meet the team page Meet the team | Your Counselling Service . We are here and happy to help.
If you are struggling right now – the best thing you can do for yourself is to take some pressure off. You will not be able to go at the same pace as you once did. You will not do the things in the same way – or even feel the same about them as you once did. But that is ok. It’s ok to step off the treadmill sometimes. It’s ok to step back for a while. Just come back when you are ready – in your own time.
Take care of you – everything else can wait.