I am not being dramatic when I say that therapy saved my life… because therapy did save my life! There are no other words to use.
Having come to see Hayley, as 42-year-old woman, in the deep darkness of a destructive eating disorder, the last two years have been a long and often bumpy road back to health and life again.
I always believed I was strong, invincible, that I could cope with anything, that I wasn’t someone who would ever struggle with their mental health… until it was a little too late. The road downwards didn’t take long, but the road out has felt like a mountain to climb.
My sessions with Hayley provided me with the tools I needed to begin climbing. It also provided me with my coach, my encourager, my supporter, my guide and my challenger. She would see the roadblocks ahead and encourage me to climb over them or challenge me to push them out of the way.
It has not been easy but Hayley’s gentle and friendly nature always reassured me and encouraged me so I could fight harder to find a lighter and brighter world to live in. When I came to Hayley feeling the shame attached with an ED, her non-judgement and deep understanding of where I was, made me feel and know that I was no longer alone.
I am not sure I have reached the very top of my mountain yet, but because of Hayley, I now know exactly how to climb it and I have the strength to do it.
I tell the world about the power of therapy and counselling… I have no shame attached to it. I also tell them there is no weakness in saying “I can’t do this alone”. Seeking help shows strength and I would urge anyone to dig deep and find the strength in themselves to make that first phone call.
If I ever need that help again, Hayley’s number is in my phone and I will not be afraid to call it!
Anonymous 42 year old female – 1.1 therapy with Hayley
Hayley is a great therapist, she has a deep understanding of what it’s like to be a teenager with mental health issues and always makes you feel heard and accepted.
I felt like she truly loves her job and our therapy sessions were always helpful and left me feeling very positive and confident.
Besides being flexible with session
s and the amount of therapy in a week, I would definitely recommend her to someone feeling anxious or unsure about therapy.
Young female – anonymous. 1.1 therapy with Hayley.
If you’re reading this site, unsure whether to proceed, just pick up the phone! Making the decision to begin therapy was one of the best decisions I ever made. I spent many years struggling with low moods, anxiousness and poor sleep, expecting to just “get over it” and thinking my problems were “not serious enough” to talk about. My only regret about beginning counselling is that I wish I had picked up the phone sooner. My time with Indira has helped me to transform the way I think and feel about myself. There are no quick fixes and at times the process is hard work, but the experience is life-changing. I know myself better now, my relationships have improved and I am better able to deal with life’s ups and downs. My advice is: Be kind to yourself and give it a try. You won’t look back.
Anonymous female – 1.1 counselling with Indira
‘I have struggled with my life at least since I was 8 years old. Over the years I have used self harm, food, drugs and unhealthy relationships as my coping mechanisms, always trying to find help and support but repeatedly failing. I had tried counselling, group therapy, the 12 steps and even an eating disorders unit. Nothing seemed to help and I always ended up back with my old unhealthy and unhappy habits.
My sessions with Magna have literally been life changing. After 32 years of sadness my life has turned finally turned around. She helped me focus on myself and find my voice. I have taken control of my life and am so much better; a better mum, daughter, sister, wife and friend. I no longer have that darkness following me.
I truly can’t recommend Magna enough’
Anonymous female client – Saw Magna for individual counselling
I see now that I first went to Nina because I was struggling to cope with realities of miscarriage, a frightening diagnosis, medical trauma and on going fertility concerns. At the time I wasn’t sure I ‘qualified’. Through my sessions with Nina, I discovered I was carrying around a great many things that I wasn’t paying attention to (pain, loss, a lack of self-regard), and by working them through with her I’ve learned a lot about myself and have many more tools to use in my journey ahead. My sessions with Nina have given me new perspectives and a new language with which to be kind to myself, tolerate tough times and even find value in the darkest days. Thank you Nina.
I have been seeing Magna for 1 to 1 personal therapy since 2013. At the time I started seeing her, I was emerging from a very unhappy and emotionally abusive 18 year marriage. I was also embarking on a training programme to qualify as a children’s counsellor, which required me to be in personal therapy alongside my training. I came to the early sessions reluctantly and somewhat guarded. I had been in personal therapy previously and marriage counselling for one year and thought I didn’t need to go over old ground.
I soon came to realise, during the early weeks working with Magna that I had many layers of self doubt and battered self esteem which needed unraveling and healing. I felt that I had in some sense ‘lost’ my sense of self whilst in a toxic relationship. Through being a containing and reflective presence Magna provided a facilitative space which enabled me to slowly leave behind the broken me and to rediscover an integrated sense of self.
A year into the work with Magna I received a further bombshell when I was diagnosed with grade 4 metastatic cancer. Magna has again provided me with a safe place in which to unravel and at times offload some of the immensely difficult feelings and emotions which this diagnosis has unleashed.
It is interesting that even though my own journey in qualifying as a counsellor has now completed, I continue to see Magna. The sessions that I have with her are an invaluable part of my life. I don’t always look forward to them; it is a misconception to think that therapy is an indulgence- the work of therapy can be incredibly difficult. Being willing to allow a professional into your most inner self with all its vicissitudes and fears is an immense act of trust. Whatever feelings I arrive with at a session, I always leave feeling more coherent and integrated in myself. I am grateful to Magna for being a facilitative presence in my life and my ongoing journey towards greater self awareness and emotional healing.
Anonymous female – 1.1 counselling
The old cliche that says ‘talking through your problems help’ – well its true! Not only does it help but it is a vital part necessary to overcome situations and obstacles.
‘I came to see Indira when things were not good in life. I felt anxious and low and didn’t feel I was coping and I certainly wasn’t enjoying very much.
From the very first session I found Indira very easy to talk to. She allowed me to open up as and when I felt ready and talk about things which went back many years and clearly were having an impact on day to day living.
She helped me see things in a new light and also different ways to handle life.
I feel so much stronger and able to cope and I’m back to enjoying seeing friends and the activities I enjoy.
I can not thank Indira enough and I would recommend this counselling service to all those needing time and space to talk things through when life has become difficult.’
Anonymous Female – Individual counselling
“Trust is something that does not come easily for me and Magna has been patient with me through this process. Magnas acceptance of who i am and where i am at, all my flaws, my darkness and my struggle to find a way out enabled me to begin a relationship with Magna with trust as the foundation. Magna continued to be non-judgemental, supportive and caring throughout the 18 months of us working together. Magnas confidence in me and her belief that i had some value in the world began to sink in and i have started to believe this for myself. It has been rare in my life to find someone who belives in me and accepts me for all that i am and i feel i found this at your counselling service.
Magna never put pressure on me to be someone i am not and did not press me to be open before i was ready and she always respected my ‘no’. These have been valuable lessons for me coming from a world where many have not respected my voice or my ‘no’. Magna has helped me to rediscover my voice, my value and i am still very much on the journey of expressing these as well as who i am, however this does not feel as daunting or as scary as it did when i first started at your counselling service. This feels more like an adventure with ups and downs but i feel as though i am more prepared and better equipped for the journey.
I am grateful for all that your counselling service has given me and in particular that it has been a hand to hold at one of the darkest times of my life”.
Individual counselling with Magna – Anonymous
“My wife and I had been arguing and biting at each other for months, including in front of our toddler. This put a strain on our relationship and made us worry we were setting a bad example for our son. YCS helped us open our ears and listen to each other and to understand our differences. By fostering a dialogue, they helped us push past our arguments and discuss our differences. We now argue less already and feel an improved dynamic in our marriage.”
Couples counselling with Indira
“I have been working with Indira for over a year and have found the sessions invaluable. The open, honest and supportive environment has enabled me to discover how to overcome anxieties and challenges in my life. I have been on a long journey from the first session and I can’t thank Indira enough for the help she has given me and would definitely recommend Your Counselling Service.”
Anonymous young female – individual counselling
When I first enquired about counselling I was a complete mess. At the time I felt like I was at the bottom of a very deep, dark hole. I was depressed, I wasn’t sleeping, and my marriage was in tatters. I was mourning the death of my mother, I was stressed from full time education. I had zero self-esteem or self-confidence. I felt alone, scared and at my lowest. I was completely unable to make decision; I was suffering from panic attacks, anxiety and could not see a way forward. I was experiencing dark thoughts and thought my life was worth nothing. I was also trying to keep some normality for the sake of my children. Life was hard and a bit of a nightmare! When I looked in the mirror I didn’t see me anymore.
When I met my counsellor Magna, I wasn’t sure if counselling could help me but I had nowhere else to go. The first few sessions where painful, I think I spent most of that time crying. But as each session passed I began to understand why I was feeling the way I was. Together we found solutions to why I felt the way I did. As something new surfaced, Magna would adjust my counselling and we tackled everything together. Sometimes I would bring issues that I thought was insignificant but it turned out to be a big part of my puzzle!
I have always felt safe and happy at counselling. I felt comfortable and in good hands. They have always been professional and kind to me. At the start I had the offer of extra sessions or telephone consultations, should I need them in between appointments.
After nine and half months I’m ready to stop counselling. I know I can go back if I feel I need to. I feel so much better. Life is good and I feel like me again. I feel positive, independent, completely empowered, my self-esteem and confidence are much improved. All of my relationships are much better and I am so proud of what has been achieved. I have the life I want and deserve.
Magna has never judged me or made me feel uncomfortable. Instead she has supported me and facilitated my journey beautifully. I am so grateful and pleased I made the decision to call. Throughout my counselling, I have had little blips and felt scared of going backwards, but Magna has taught me how to manage my feelings and not to ignore them. I have the tools and confidence to move forwards.
If you are having any difficulties, counselling is a very good place to start on the road to a better life. It moves at your pace and you call the shots.
Anonymous female – came to see Magna for long term counselling. Was living with depression.
‘So I found myself lost in an unfamiliar world. I hated life and I hated myself. I’d been signed off work and felt completely alone. I was broken and no one was listening. I was being passed from person to person and deteriorating fast so made the decision to look for a counsellor. I was sceptical and reluctant at first as therapy had never worked for me in the past, but then I found Hayley. I was self-destructing rapidly, so this decision probably saved my life. I was on the brink of giving up when all it took was a safe place and someone to listen to me. I’ve never been much of a talker (especially when it comes to my past), but as I built up my trust in Hayley this became easier.
When I found it difficult to talk and explain my feelings Hayley would encourage me to write, which is something I’ve always done. I’d never shared my writing with anyone before, but felt comfortable and trusting enough to do so. It helped me to be honest and to not hold back, so Hayley could see the bigger picture.
At times I am quite an awkward and challenging character, but Hayley never gave up on me. I’ve been seeing Hayley now for three years and can honestly say that my life would have taken a very different path without her. I’ve been faced with many barriers over this time and Hayley has helped me to face them.
I never realised the impact of bottling things up and how much we unconsciously carry around. I’d buried a lot of my past, and with Hayley’s help we identified situations and struggles, which continued to have an effect on me. By highlighting these and talking through my once blocked out memories was a weight off my shoulders.
Some of my behaviours were somewhat destructive and I had a very short fuse with damaging consequences to both myself and others. My previous coping skills were highly detrimental to both my physical and mental well-being, but it’s what I knew and what I had learnt. By working with Hayley I have become much more understanding of other people and learnt ways of managing my frustrations and anger more positively. I am much quicker to recognise problems and instead of reacting negatively and without thinking, I’m much more inclined to search for a solution, instead of creating more problems adding to the list to bury. I am also more aware of the signs leading to destructive habits and am more likely to avoid altercations which may occur.
I never thought much of myself, I didn’t like who I was and couldn’t see a future. Through sessions with Hayley I have become much more accepting of who I am, what I am capable of and what I can achieve. I’ve always put others before me and as a result neglected my own self-care.
What I’ve learnt is that by looking after yourself and practising good self-care, you are in fact more supportive and in a more stable and grounded place to be there for others. Hayley has made me aware of how to be kind to myself and also how to use those around me for support. This was alien to me before Hayley, as I kept my problems and worries locked away, hence why I sought Hayley in the first place. As my relationship built in therapy, my relationships with others improved to and I was able to build and rebuild positive connections.
I still have learning, work and improving to do, but I am ten times the person I would have been without Hayley and counselling. Hayley was my guide in a world where I was lost beyond measure. I found her and she helped me find my way. What I’ve realised is that I always had the answers. Counselling just gave me the insight, confidence and direction to achieve. I’ll probably continue to make the odd wrong turning, but with what I’ve learnt and with how much I’ve grown, I will hopefully get myself back on track. I will never forget the hard work, kindness and understanding from Hayley. There’s no amount of thanks or words I can say, just know that my life began when I found Hayley’.
Anonymous – young female. Long term individual counselling.
‘As a young male the hardest step is to accept you may need counselling, after some time deliberating I made the plunge, to initially help with one or two problems.
At first, I saw it as a short term thing. A couple of sessions and I would be off, but the reality is that having an opportunity to unload your weekly problems or frustrations regardless of how finicky they are has helped me no end. It evens my keel and allows me to excel in certain areas. On the outset most people would assume I don’t need counselling and I would probably suggest that myself right now, but it’s something that helps me achieve things, puts things in perspective and manages to balance up my work and home life balance.
All sessions I have had have benefited me in some shape. I always find Magna supportive and honest I am a bit of clam when it comes to talking about personal stuff but Magna creates an environment that allows for it to be easy and stress free to communicate.
At the moment I don’t see myself stopping counselling but I don’t have any problems that I need work on, it’s a great way to clear my head in a busy life I lead’.
Anonymous Male – Individual counselling
‘Regular sessions with Hayley have allowed me to improve relationships with my wife, parents and siblings allowing me to enjoy time that I spend with the people I care most about. Over the course of time I have learned to become a less stressed, more relaxed calmer person. I’ve learned to control my anger, and let go of the past mistakes, and come to the realisation that no one is perfect and we all make mistakes.
I no longer worry so much about other peoples expectation, and I’ve stopped setting such high expectations for myself. I care less about things that aren’t worth worrying about, I care less about what other people think of me. I feel more focused on the here & now and what I’m actually doing rather than worry about previous mistakes or thinking too far into the future about things I have no control over. I have learned to give up control and realise that many things in life are out of my hands. That heavy feeling of anxiety in my chest is no longer there, and if it returns I’m able to control it and make it go.
I’ve learned to communicate better with my wife which has made me a better & more supportive husband. I’ve learned how to communicate better with my parents and not care about any expectations they have from me allowing me to enjoying what time I have left with them rather than focus on pleasing them.
Even without being so tough on myself I have still managed to be successful in my career and maintain a healthy lifestyle with plenty of time for family, friends and most importantly myself. I’ve realised that challenges are a part of life and that I will always have some kind of issue to deal with.
The over all result is that I’m happy. Even with any challenges or issues I’m currently dealing with, I’m still very happy’.
Anonymous male – Individual counselling for Anger management. Followed by couples counselling.
‘Coming to see Samantha and receiving individual counselling has played a vital role in my journey to recover from an eating disorder.
I have found the sessions and having someone to talk to, with the added comfort of confidentiality and complete trust,invaluable.
With the help of Samantha, I have been able to stay focused and move forward in my recovery. I still have progress to make but the counselling has given me the drive required to stay on track and continue moving forwards, something I would have struggled to do without the help and encouragement I have received.
Counselling has enabled me to confide in someone without the feeling of being judged, which for me has been incredibly important, particularly in the initial stages where I found it hard to speak to anybody about what was going on.
I would strongly recommend counselling, as sometimes as a result of explaining your own thoughts and feelings to someone else you become able to understand them better yourself’.
18 year old female living with Anorexia – Anonymous
“When I first decided to try counselling I was at rock bottom. It was my very last resort, as I felt very ill mentally and physically. The health anxiety was cemented in my brain to a stage where the anxiety was so severe it was with me 24-7. I was suicidal. I could not go on feeling so ill. I feared each day. My head was full of things from when I was a child. I felt when I put my trust in people they let me down, to a stage where I could not trust anyone again. Until one day I picked up the phone and dialled the number I found on the internet.
Because I did not have much money, the lady I spoke to agreed to an amount that was affordable to me.
That phone call I believe saved my life! The best thing I did.
On my first visit with Magna, my counsellor, I instantly felt relaxed. I off loaded a lot of what I was feeling. All the pain I had. I knew straight away I could trust her as she did not judge me. She understood me and listened to me. Finally I had someone there whom believed in me. She listened to me.
When I finished talking to my counsellor, Magna, she unfolded one by one all the mixed up feelings and thoughts I spoke about and straight away, at my very first meeting, there was sense in my thoughts. She helped me to begin to understand them. Magna learned me within time to put a positive thought in place of a negative thought. I thought that would be impossible but over time I noticed I was doing that. The anxiety began to ease of gradually.
I still have a little further to go. I feel I was and am so very fortunate and so lucky to have found such a good counsellor and believe I will soon get there with a little more help.
I urge anyone whom feels they can’t go on with the way they are feeling to get the help like I have done”.
Anonymous female – individual counselling
“We found Hayley when we were looking for help to deal with some problems that were affecting an otherwise loving relationship. We weren’t sure what to expect from relationship counselling, and our main concern was to find someone who seemed down-to-earth and realistic, and who could connect with us and identify with our problems. This is exactly what we found with Hayley.
She quickly put us at ease, allowing us to talk openly without feeling judged, and as a result we both felt committed to the sessions. At times when things were tense between us, Hayley was great at giving us some perspective and even a bit of humour. She helped us to understand how our up-bringing, previous relationships and day-to-day stresses might be affecting us. One of our big problems was difficulty in communicating when things got stressful; Hayley helped us overcome this and see things from the others perspective. She was also honest with us, so that we didn’t expect things to get better overnight, or everything to always be perfect.
The most valuable things we got from the sessions as a couple were a much better understanding of each other, as well as feeling far more relaxed about talking things through together. Both of these mean that we now feel much better equipped to deal with life’s ups and downs, and much more positive about the future together”.
Anonymous couple – relationship counselling.
“I decided to seek counselling at an incredibly difficult and stressful time in my life. I had suffered two relationship breakdowns and job loss and to me it felt like just about everything was going wrong. I was chaotic, depressed and on a downward spiral of low self-esteem and anger. I needed help to get back on track and get some perspective on events, my part in them and how to move forward positively.
I saw Hayley over about a five month period and she was instrumental in helping me to regain my confidence and be clear about the facts rather than imagining everything bad that was happening was about me and my fault. She has a relaxed, friendly style and is a great listener.
I learned to have total trust in her very quickly and felt able to talk about anything knowing she would not judge me and would treat my personal revelations in a strictly confidential manner. She was excellent at helping me set weekly targets to make incremental improvements in my life.
I can’t believe where I am now compared to five months ago. My business is thriving, I have just started a new relationship and my confidence is growing daily.
My recovery has been due to a lot of factors but I have no doubt that seeking help from Hayley was and still is a major contributing factor. I needed a safe space to ‘unpack my baggage’ with a skilled professional who could act as a trusted sounding board. I certainly found that in Hayley and can’t thank her enough. I would recommend her without hesitation”.
47 year-old male. Anonymous.
“Ive been seeing Hayley for over 18 months now, and can really see how she has helped me over this time and can see the changes that have been made and how far i have come in this time.
I don’t know how I would have got through some of things I have without the support of Hayley, knowing that she is only a call away and there when you need her.
Hayley is such a warm and gentle person and makes you feel very comfortable and at ease. I’ve seen been to see Hayley on my own for sessions and also had them with my partner. Hayley is brilliant and would recommend her to anyone.”
25 year-old female. Anonymous.