There seems to be something inside all of us that fears the end of a chapter in our lives. There are times that we are in control of how this chapter will end, especially when we might be thinking of ending a relationship, ending a friendship that is just not working anymore or even resigning from a job that we have been in for many years.
The reality is that endings have an impact on our lives whether we realize it or not. Some endings might be open ended and other endings might leave us feeling like that we are not ready to end yet. Sometimes the endings make us feel restless and it all feels too much, and at other times the endings can fill us with feelings that seem really unreal.
There are no right or wrong feelings when we are dealing with endings. It’s about moving through the ending and aiming not to get stuck.
- The feelings associated with endings can vary from feeling sad to feeling that it might be the end of the world. Gradually this will change and you will start to feel better.
- It might feel that everyone else is just moving on with life while you feel like you might be stuck in the past, in that place where life felt good and things were familiar.
- It is important to acknowledge how you are feeling. No one can tell you that “you should have moved on by now”. That how you feel does not matter.
- Dealing with endings does resemble dealing with grief. And grief has its own time scale. No person grieves the same way. No one deals with endings and loss in the same way.
- Be kind to yourself. Be patient with yourself and take things one day at a time. Speak kindly to yourself and give yourself the space and time to heal.
- If you feel that you are not able to deal with things on your own – seek support. Ask help with the things that feel too difficult. Talk to a friend or someone you trust.
- Have hope. Things will eventually get better, but healing takes time. Rushing through things might just mean that you will have to deal with things further down the line.
- If we try and deal with endings by giving ourselves the space to deal with the feelings of loss, we are more likely to find new beginnings easier to embrace and move into.
- New beginnings does not necessarily have to be difficult. Letting go is part of the process of stepping into new beginnings.
If you feel that therapy is something that you (or someone close to you ) could benefit from to deal with feelings surrounding endings please email : info@yourcounsellingservice.co.uk or call 07590 663938