In a society where we now actively promote talking about our struggles, it is so frustrating and upsetting to see so many men feeling as though they still can’t speak openly about their internal battles.
So much of masculinity is caught up with how a man feels he ‘should’ be seen, or what he thinks he ‘should’ be doing. So many men think that they must be ‘ok’ all the time. And despite the constant promotion that its ‘ok to not be ok’ many men simply feel it isn’t.
The world of being a man can include the appearance of being strong, of holding it all together, of taking whatever is being thrown at them and of the emphasis can be on how to keep going – rather than stopping and processing their actual feelings. Let alone sharing them with their support network.
So many men still feel that they need to provide. To support. To ‘do’ rather then ‘be’. They feel they must keep everything inside and everything together – when they may be feeling very alone, very anxious, very stressed or very low.
Yet those words won’t be shared, and the level of their feelings won’t be expressed. As a result, many men can find themselves struggling alone on a day-to-day basis. Trying to function and keep things together, when deep down they can feel as though they are drowning.
Perhaps depression has got hold of them, perhaps work is causing immense stress, perhaps there are real and difficult financial pressures. Maybe they don’t feel good enough in some way. Perhaps they have extreme insecurities or maybe they feel very down about what they achieved in life.
However, it is manifesting, all these things are hard to deal with. And if someone isn’t talking about them or sharing them in any way – then they can become even harder to cope with.
This can result in someone totally overwhelmed. They may then find themselves self-medicating (maybe with alcohol or food) or lashing out at others when they really don’t mean too. It can cause them to feel very frustrated. To act very aggressively. To lash out and have mood swings or to sink lower into themselves. Whatever happens things can get worse, and an individual’s mental health will deteriorate more. Sadly this can end in severe depression at times, or full blown addiction at others. It can lead to financial difficulties, gambling, severe stress, and anxiety. It can have a major impact on relationships sometimes causing them to break down. Finally, it can even cause men to feel so low that they experience suicidal thoughts.
What would it be like if a man felt able to share his feelings openly? If he didn’t fear judgement? If he wasn’t worried about failing in some way? What would it look like if a man was able to talk about his struggles openly and to face them, bit by bit. To take things one step at a time and to gradually move forward – finding a more positive and calmer place to be. How would it be if men felt they could share the load they carry and if they could let some of the barriers down that they hold up? If self-medicating could stop and actual processing could take place. Things could be so very different for so many men.
Here at your counselling service, we actively promote men coming for therapy. We offer a wide range of appointment times and days. We offer both face-to-face and online sessions. We can be flexible with fees so that this is never a barrier for accessing therapy. We have a great team, who are very experienced in dealing with the battles that men can face. In addition to this we have a brilliant male therapist in the team who is happy to see anyone who feels more comfortable with a male therapist.
We are dedicated to the work we do, and we encourage men to speak more openly about the challenges they face. We are here to help and to break the silence. If you are a man and you are struggling, then take the leap of faith today – contact us on 07590 663938 or e mail info@yourcounsellingservice.co.uk
We are here to help.
www.yourcounsellingservice.co.uk