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Men and counselling.

men 1

Working as a therapist I have grown to love the work I do with my male clients.  I have learned that as a female counsellor I never should have an expectancy of how my male clients should be.  I have come to recognise that they are all very unique and that thy think independently about life and the way they live it.

I have learned that men are able to hide their emotions from themselves and others because they fear the power of them.  Men don’t fear anger; they seem to be very familiar with being angry.  Men fear that if the floodgates of emotions open they will be left feeling vulnerable and exposed.  Most men want to function out of a place of confidence; they want to feel they are strong enough to carry the world.

But sometimes life becomes too much and men struggle to recognise that seeing a counsellor could be of great benefit.  They might feel that making that call is a sign of weakness. But to give you some insight, below is a list of things men may worry about during counselling:

  • Men worry that they need to be strong.
  • They worry that what they say will be a reflection of their man hood.
  • Men worry about feeling ashamed. That they might find it difficult to talk about what life and how they might be struggling with something very specific that might be affecting all areas of their lives.
  • Men worry that if they present with depression they will be judged as not manly enough, not strong enough.
  • They might feel anxious or angry about the fact that they are not able to deal with whatever has become an issue in their lives.
  • They might just feel lost.

Below are some issues men might be dealing with:

  • Work pressure
  • Addictions
  • Stress
  • Feeling trapped by the expectations of others….. how the ‘ideal’ man should behave
  • They might feel judged if they don’t meet their own expectations
  • The pressures of day to day living being a man having to be the protector, decision maker, provider and the sexual instigator.
  • Men don’t always want to save woman, sometimes they just want to be
  • Body insecurities
  • Financial insecurity
  • Sexual dysfunctions
  • Not being good enough
  • Weight issues: obesity/anorexia and bulimia

What men really want:

I have come to realize that men want to be assured that they don’t have to be emotionally stronger than their therapist (or then anyone else in their lives).

  • They want to be accepted.
  • To not be judged.
  • To realise that its ok to make mistakes.
  • To feel emotions at their own pace.
  • They want to be given the space just to talk.
  • To be honest to just be themselves.

men 2At Your counselling Service we offer men the space to explore life issues.  So please contact us at or call 07590 663938. We are happy to help.