Improving life with your partner.

We often end up taking for granted the closest person to us.  It is also common to take things out on that person, not make enough time for them or not make them a priority. This seems pretty ironic when you think about it.  The person we love and care about more then anything, and the person we are closest too – often ends up at the bottom of our priority list.  Here at your counselling service we do a lot of couples work, and we recognise the importance of nurturing a relationship and prioritising your partner.  If you and your partner are struggling then here are some useful tips for improving things –

1. In your busy week organise a ‘date night’ or a ‘date day’.  This is one evening or day that is solely for the two of you. No phones, no interruptions (Including things like television).  If you have children it is worth investing in a baby sitter.  It doesn’t have to be an expensive date. A walk, a drink in the pub, perhaps cooking for one another.  The importance is quality time.

2. Remember to communicate.  It sounds simplistic. But is often the main issue for a lot of couples.  Communication breaks down.  Talk to each other, ask how each other is feeling – and really listen. Pay attention to your partner the same way you would if you were catching up with  friend you haven’t seen for ages.

3. Express love and affection. This can often stop after people have been together for a while. But it is so important.  It can be a kiss, a cuddle, telling each other that you love each other or just reminding a person of how much they mean to you.  Simple ways to do this can be through notes and messages during the day.

4. Respect each other.  You are two different people , with different thoughts, feelings, families and lives. You need to be mindful of this and respect each others differences.  You wont always agree.  But the key is having a healthy discussion instead of an argument.

5. Be honest about your feelings.  So many people don’t tell each other how they really feel.  Yet its so important to be honest about feelings. You may feel sad, insecure, stressed or let down in some way by your partner.  Even if you feel that its illogical you need to tell your partner how your feeling.  If you need something more from them don’t be afraid to ask.  They may not even realise that they are doing something to upset you.

6, Work on intimacy. Having a healthy sex life is very important in a relationship. And something that is unique to each couple. However intimacy isn’t just above having sex. It is about doing other things such as taking a bath together or giving each other a massage etc. Make time for this and learn to ask for what you need from each other. It is so important.

These are just some of the useful things that you can try in order to improve things with your partner.  If you find that you are doing all of these and things aren’t changing then you may wish to come and see someone for couples counselling. If this is the case then please call 07590 663938 or e mail info@yourcounsellingservice.co.uk  We would be really happy to help.