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Letting go

It is often the wounds of the past that prevent people from enjoying the moment, or from moving forward in their life.

Think about that for a minute.

Imagine all the challenges that you have previously faced in your life. The difficult times and the heartache. The past trauma. Think about those that have hurt you along the way or situations that may have caused you pain or upset. Then think about times when you wished you had done things differently or moments when you feel you have let others down. Never with intention – but still – those moments can cause you pain and suffering.  Think about other difficult times – moments of loss, moments of chaos, suffering and disruption. Times when life felt unmanageable or as though it would never get any easier.

Now imagine all this stuff. What does it look like? What does it feel like? I imagine its quite heavy. I imagine its weighing you down. Perhaps a little like carrying around a sack of very heavy rocks. It can’t be easy dragging that around with you. Not only does it weigh you down. But it exhausts you. It takes all your energy and all of your focus. It drains you. It holds you back. You can’t move forward into exciting new chapters when you’re carrying this sack. You can’t step forward and enjoy the moments ahead of you. Nor can you stop and enjoy the present moment, because your consumed. Consumed with all the pain, the heartache, the difficult times and the drama. And those dark and difficult rocks. Well, they are holding you back.

Every time you get a new opportunity and every time something positive comes your way. You may find that you start to feel overwhelmed, anxious, and even scared. It can feel hard to trust the process. To have faith that everything is going to be ok. It can feel hard to know that things can be different, and that people can be different. It can be difficult to embrace the things that life is offering you. If you’re always living in the past. If you’re always looking back or stuck in painful chapters that have passed. Then you never really can enjoy what is right in front of you – or what lies ahead.

I often talk to clients about the concept of letting go of the things that no longer serve us. Think about that. Imagine all the things you are holding on to and how difficult and challenging they may for you. Imagine now what it might be like to recognise that those things are no longer serving you anymore. That they are holding you back and preventing you from being the person you truly want and deserve to be. Think about the concept of the rocks for a minute. Imagine one by one – taking them out of that sack, putting them down and letting them go.

A painful divorce – let it go

A toxic friendship – let it go

A manipulative partner – let them go

A job that made you unhappy – let it go

A person that once bullied you – let them go

An alcoholic parent – let the pain they caused you go

An absent parent – let the idealism of them go

A fixation on image – let it go

A past eating disorder- let it go

A past addiction – let it go

A violent relationship – let it go

A negative image of yourself – let it go

A failure (as you perceive it) – let it go

A time you felt ashamed – let it go

A need to make everyone happy – let I go

These are just some of the examples of things that can hold people back. Things that can stop individuals from being content and happy in their life.

The moment they start to let them go – is the moment they feel so much better. This could be the same for you. Think about the way in which you could start to let go. Think about how it might feel to let go of the things that no longer serve you. Imagine a life that looks and feels like that. It would be refreshing. It would be calm. It would be simpler. Clarity could come. Things could feel so much easier and lighter. Life could be far more enjoyable. Slow down. Take time for yourself. Embrace the moment and learn to let go.

Remember – this isn’t simple. It isn’t easy. No one is saying you simply just let go. Some things are so traumatic that healing can take a very long time. It is a painful process, and it takes time. But the goal is to let go of the ghosts of the past and then begin to enjoy the present and look forward to the future. If you hold that in mind and work hard to make changes. Then the rest will follow.