Relationships are very delicate. They require a lot of energy, input, time, and effort.
A lot of the time people take the relationships in their life for granted. Sometimes they assume a person will always be there. Sometimes they think they don’t need to invest any more actual time or energy, but more often than not they don’t even realise that they aren’t paying true attention to those closest to them.
Life can be incredibly demanding and full on at times. With work commitments, family commitments and social engagements, the days and weeks can be incredibly busy and full on. It is hard sometimes to carve out the time that is truly needed. But to keep a relationship in a healthy and good place, it is so very important.
As people try and make room and space for their own hobbies and interests the windows in the week get even smaller. Carving out time for ourselves is of course very important for our mental wellbeing. But the balance tilts when this becomes more of a priority the investing in our relationships.
Financial pressures, strain and demands can also have an impact. As people find themselves working more and more hours, but also getting increasingly stressed. An increase in stress levels can cause people to feel more on edge, more wound up and more tired. Exhaustion can impact a relationship negatively. Lack of sleep or worries can cause a person to feel in their own head and further away from the person closest to them.
There are so many factors that can negatively impact relationships. The way a person may feel in themselves for example. Things like depression or anxiety can cause a person to feel lower in themselves and therefore more in their own head then present in their current relationship.
The struggles and pressures that come with having a family and the management of family life can also have an impact on a relationship. Before people know it their day to day life becomes more and more about taking care of the kids, and discussing the organization of family life then it does about their own relationship.
So, when we sit back and look at things objectively there are many factors that can have significant impact on relationships. There are many reasons why communication might break down between two people, or intimacy may stop. There are several factors that play a part in relationship break down. They key is stopping from time to time and truly reflecting on where things are at with your partner. The important part is carving out space and time to evaluate how you keep your relationships going in a healthy way. How you make sure there is time and space to nurture it and to develop it.
Put quite simply relationships won’t survive without real time and effort. They won’t grow without nurturing and development. They won’t improve or shift without care and attention. And they won’t evolve without love or investment. So, stop. Think about that for a moment. Why would you neglect such an important relationship in your life? Why would you not make the time and space for someone that means so much to you? Why would you give your time and energy away freely to others when there is someone important that truly needs it?
You don’t want to watch your own relationship break down. You don’t want to be a witness in the erosion of something so important. So, stop. Press pause before it is too late.
Here are some fundamental and important ways to keep your relationship in a healthy and good place.
- Make time for one another every week (no matter how small the windows)
- Sit down and truly communicate.
- Show interest in one another’s days.
- Respect each other’s feelings.
- Allow each other space and time for individual needs to be met.
- Always be compassionate and kind.
- Express love and care towards one another.
- Speak kindly to each other (harsh words are not easy to forget)
- Learn to understand each other more.
- Identity each other’s needs and work towards getting them met.
- Carve out regular room for intimacy.
- Remember why you choose to be with this person above anyone else.
- Put effort into doing thoughtful things for one another.
- Remember to value the relationship.
- Say no to other commitments to make your relationship a priority.
- Hear your partner when they are feeling vulnerable.
- Offer support and re assurance when its needed.
- Always act with integrity
- Always treat your partner in the same way that you would like to be treated.
- Above all remember we are all human and therefore capable of making mistakes.
- Finally, couples counselling is always available if you need an objective space to find your way back to one another.