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Male sexual abuse.

ms 1Sexual abuse can happen to boys and men too.  We are talking about all ages and all kinds of backgrounds.  The boy/man on the bus next to you, the boy/man in the queue in front of you, or living next door to you…..

Even in today’s society it seems to be one of the least spoken about subjects.  That sexual abuse can happen to boys and men.  The reality of it is that there are men in society that might be hurting but will never speak about what has happened to them.   And there may be young boys / men who are currently being abuse, and feel too scared to tell anyone.

There seems to be a lot of shame and guilt linked to the subject of sexual abuse in general, but it can be much deeper where boys/men are concerned.  Mainly as there seems to be the feeling that they are not allowed to speak about the pain.  There is a sense that if they do speak about things, it will make them less of ‘man’.  Some men express fears that they will be seen as weak, and unable to protect their partners or children, because of the fact that they were not able to protect themselves.

The effects of sexual abuse on boys/men:

Because there seem to be a lack of understanding in society about male sexual abuse and the effects it can have on boys/men it is important for us to recognise that an individual may be struggling with feelings of confusion, guilt, shame, doubt, feeling betrayed, powerless and angry.  For example angry outbursts could be symbolic of something else that is either currently going on with a young man or went on in an older mans past.

Although not always, a typical male reaction is to try and suppress the thoughts and feelings surrounding the effects of sexual abuse.  In young boys/ men they can then have problems at school, or with peers for example.  They may display aggressive behaviour or go very inward and withdrawn.   For older men this suppression can create feelings of : anxiety, depression, sexual dysfunction, social isolation, aggression, self-harm.  This can also lead to relationships problems, marital breakdown and poor parenting.

ms2When seeking help – counselling:

Your counsellor is there to help and support you and to help you work through the painful memories and emotions.  At your counselling service we have a trained and experienced team who work with the area of male sexual abuse.  One of our therapists also works specifically with children and young people.  So we offer support to all ages.

In the counselling room we:

  • Will take your issues seriously
  • Will try and help you deal with thoughts and feelings
  • Recognise that you might feel nervous about speaking about what happened to you
  • We will be caring and respectful, and adapt our style depending on the individual that we are working with
  • Will give you the space to say whatever you need to say.
  • Will support you
  • Will walk with you
  • Will help you to feel more confident and secure in who you are

For us you will not be “just” another person that has been abused.  To us you are a boy/man, who needs to be heard and valued.

At Your counselling Service we would like to offer you the space to explore your life issues.  So please contact us at or call 07590 663938.