There’s been a demon living in my head, she answers to my name, she tells me I’m not worthy, that life is only pain.
I’m not sure when it started, I’m not sure when it will end,
But I do know life feels easier when I don’t have to pretend.
I cry in dark corners, where nobody ever goes,
I wear my smile so proudly, so no one ever knows.
I feel clouded by the darkness,
I feel scared I will never see light,
Writing used to be my healing, but my pens been out of sight.
Depression is not just sadness, it is a complex state of mind
It takes away all meaning, it can be incredibly unkind.
It tells you life’s not worth living, it tells you life’s black and white,
It creeps up on you whilst your sleeping, in the middle of the night.
But recently something happened, things took a different turn, I was reminded in an instant when my heart began to burn, that it all can change so quickly, you never really understand, the fragility of life until you are dealt a different hand.
I was reminded of the people, who I love so very much, the ones who keep me going, when life just feels too tough.
So, as I sit here writing, tears rolling down my face, I needed you to know that in my heart you have a special place.
Your smile it gives me comfort,
Your eyes tell me it’s ok,
Just your presence and your nature give me the strength to fight another day.
You give me hope when I feel hopeless,
You listen when I feel lost,
You sit with me through darkness, no matter what the cost.
You walk with me through storms,
You help me face my fears,
You show me that there is meaning and words beneath my tears,
There’s been times when I’ve felt broken, failed to see what’s in plain sight,
You’ve helped me to keep going, given me belief that I can fight.
You remind me of a shooting star, your smile so bright and rare, every time I see you, you let me know you care.
I am humbled by your passion, I am humbled by your grace
I am humbled by your soul, you feel like my safe place.
You said, once you hit rock bottom, the only way is up,
It takes courage and commitment but it’s better than staying stuck.
You said, this life is not always easy, there will be ups and there will be downs, but no matter how much you think you want to, please don’t let yourself drown.
So, I will keep on treading water, gaining strength along the way.
I will continue to keep fighting, be thankful for each day.
In this poem lies a meaning, a lesson to be learned,
What if we always wait for tomorrow but tomorrow never comes?
So, stop waiting for the future, stop worrying about the how,
The only way to live our life is to love what we have now.
We’ll never really know how much we need the sun, until it doesn’t rise at all,
Reach out to those you love, a hug, a text, a call.
Don’t wait until the ending until you start to live,
You’re stronger than you realise, you have so much to give.
This is the story of your life, it’s you who holds the pen. I hope you can keep on writing until the very end.