How often do you hear people putting themselves down? Speaking negatively about themselves or expressing self-doubt? It is more common to find people questioning themselves, second guessing themselves or feeling insecure, then it Is to find people speaking highly about themselves, or trusting that they are always doing their best.
Isnt it sad that we live in a world of self doubt. That we are surrounded by critical voices, judgements and opinions. Often ones that people don’t need to hear. Ones that don’t make people feel good about themselves, and ones that do nothing but feed negative thinking.
Of course this isn’t always the case – there are those of us that empower. Those of us that speak highly of others, that compliment people and build others up. And there are those of use that encourage people to do everything they have ever wanted too.
But we do live in a world of comparison. We do live in a world where people place high expectations on others and where they are so quick to form opinions and judgements.
I often say to clients – it doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks. What matters if what you think. It doesn’t matter how others view your life – it matters how you feel about your life. You don’t need external validation. You may feel that you do. But you don’t. What truly matters is what’s inside. And what’s really important is your own inner happiness.
It is my belief that we can all achieve anything we put our minds too. We are capable of far more then we really give ourselves credit for. And ultimately we are capable of fulfilling any of our dreams. If we just believe in ourselves.
It sounds simple right – after all believe and you will achieve?
Of course it is not always that easy. What if a person is very insecure, or if they are living with an addiction, or depression, maybe they are fighting an eating disorder. Or what if someone generally has low self esteem and low self confidence. Perhaps they have been bullied in the past of they have bene in toxic / abusive relationships.
All of these things knock people’s confidence. They shatter hope and destroy dreams. They leave people fighting demons, trying to overcome battles in their head and they result in a lot of self-criticism and a huge amount of not feeling good enough.
As always there are many things that people can do to help themselves get into a more positive place. Things like using a support network. Communicating and expressing feelings more. And of course there are several changes that can be made in a person’s life to help them feel better about themselves. Things like positive self care, taking time out for themselves, working on stress levels, journal writing etc. Other areas can be looked at – finding a place of moderation when it comes to things like exercise, alcohol etc. Looking at food in a moderate way is also really important. Generally people can work towards re storing balance in their life and incorporating positive mantras so that they begin to feel better about themselves.
All of the above can really help – but sometimes things like depression and anxiety for example. Well they can take over – and they can leave a person feeling very alone, lost and full of self doubt.
That’s where therapy comes in….
Starting the therapeutic process can of course be daunting. But with the right therapist – in a relaxed and calm environment , real healing can begin to take place.
Therapy can really help people to start to challenge the negative voices in their head. It can help them to unpick the critical and punitive scripts that go round and round. And it can work towards replacing them with kinder scripts. With nicer and more respectful words and thoughtful voices. It can teach people the art of being kind to themselves and it can help them to learn how to like and eventually love themselves.
Of course it isn’t easy – and the journey isn’t quick. But with a lot of work, time and effort – it can happen. So if you want to start believing in yourself. If you want to gain more self confidence. If you want to learn how to like yourself, to respect yourself and be kind to yourself. Then why not give it a try? You will soon see the difference it can make.
The better we feel in ourselves the more we are capable of achieving anything we put our minds too. The more self confidence we have – the more we can shine and sparkle. Go find the best version of yourself. And if you need help doing that – we are right here.